i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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