If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
