Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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