I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
