Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
