dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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