as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
