p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
