I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
