Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
She's the barista slut.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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