I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
