Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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