ugly people sure do ruin things
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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