last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
