Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
handjob tips. give me some.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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