I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Randomize
