Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
is wine microwaveable?
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
