so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
send nudes
from the living room?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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