its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize