I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
