She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
MIDGETS
????
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
