She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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