I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
