you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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