ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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