So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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