you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
