Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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