"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
