Got a toothbrush?
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
