he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
