who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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