i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
