Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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