I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
