I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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