thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
