when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
