I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
