You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
