i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
