I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
