im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
