she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
i believe in u and ur pee
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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