what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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