eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
