also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
