I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
