You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Hello my rib-scented angel!
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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