his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
