you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
