You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Me too!
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
