I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
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