You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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