Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
