is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize