when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
