We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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