she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
